It is truly a devil man has created for a child. Education for children in India is now nothing more than grades, exams and pressure. No parent wants their children to lose out on the crazy fanatic race of attaining scores and grades better than anyone in the school. The issue is our education system and conditional mindset followed by few exams that are deciding the fate of the child for whole life. Yes, in today’s time with the expansion of global network and online courses and alternative educational methods the lives of few children have changed greatly. For the parents as well as children were open with the expansion of education at global levels. But then these are far less and few. While the majority of the population is struggling to follow the same often used paths of success. This again has relevance for them due to years of disciplines way of teaching and learning have made them suitable to the companies and corporate sectors requirement. This hugely creates a sense of pressure for the parents when they look back in their life and compare it with the fast paced changes in the lifestyles creates a sense of panic fear for them. This worsened by the general Parent-Teacher meetings and exams, projects, assignments heightens the pressure to tense scenario between the parents themselves. It is this fear and pressure that they keep on filling the house with. The child faces comparisions, bullying, exams, assignments, projects in education centres by peers as well teachers. To add to the pressure parents look for overall development of child put them in skating, football, dance, music, swimming, painting without even looking at The inclination, desire and freewill of child. The pressure energy and tactics slowly and steadily creates fear in mind and heart of child slowly breaking down his joy, innocence, confidence and the zeal at home and education centres. Most of the time even when the child is internally hurt and sad, parents keep suppressing that feeling by saying “You are big, now, big children don’t cry”, “you are not that good”, “you are not good enough”. These simple statement itself creates a comparative thing of big and small. Thus, leading to suppression of the feeling. Any pain or hurt sense the child would look for escaping it, in that looking mostly children look for negative thoughts or ways that can lead one to find even the worst thing to do. Children are like buds that have to blossom in flowers in future leading ways for future. They definitely are not mechanical, mechanized beings having no freewill. They too have feelings, emotions like any elders but their way of expressing is different, more in the moment of time. If one suppresses the moment, it creates crack which breaks them in short period. Each child is unique in oneself some are extrovert, some introverts, some open and straight, some may be hyper while some are naughty. But these are not bad, don’t put them categories of diseases or problem. Why do we put them in certain brackets because parents and society want them to follow a pattern they feel society will accept.
This in itself is dangerous for it removes and changes the core nature of the child. The child who has capability of attaining heights in her way is forced to follow the unfulfilled dreams, desires and aspirations of parents and society.
If parents take a lead the life of child can truly be open and blossoming as it should be. I am sharing what I saw, learned, implemented from the ways of my aunty (Ms. Shanta Kumari) from my childhood. It worked for so many children and people, so sharing her way as an offering to her.
1. EFFORT : Remember life is about growing, evolving and learning in sequence. So every single effort of the child has to be appreciated irrespective of their winning or losing. For in effort the motivation and appreciation helps one evolve while allowing one to learn too. Embarrassment of the child shouldn’t happen in public, rather in private the child has to be explained the error and also shown the right way as per your understanding. Remember it is easy to point out the flaw but important is showing way of resolving them.
2. Excellence through Practice
Excellance happens when one realises one’s interest and inclination through inspiration, motivation and having freewill to walk on the path with encouragement but not by pressure.
Once inclination emerges then practice is part of individual depth and passion.
3. Self-Effort
Way, thoughts can inspire the children, but make sure the child puts in self effort to learn, evolve and grow. This self effort allows the child to tap into inner abilities, confidence and a sense of achievement. Elders should be the guiding force not the executing force, else child will buckle down under slight pressure. All assignments, practice sessions and projects should be done by child but your guidance and supervision with needed advice should be there.
4. A child is a child
Never make the child act like an adult. The beauty of childhood shouldn’t be destroyed to fulfill your desires or aspirations. The efforts of child should not be put into too many things thereby exhausting him mentally and also depleting his achievement calibre.
5. Question Power
Initiate discussion on multiple aspects so that the curiosity of the child us kept active. This allows Queries to come, a zeal to gain knowledge happens. Never give half baked answers to Child, if as a parent you are not aware of the answer then it is a good opportunity for you to learn too. This creates a bond of knowledge that will be cherished by parents as well as children throughout their life. In education too this gives a better and deeper meaning to the knowledge which has been churned and churned to gain a insight.
6. I can do, can you?
Break large tasks into smaller tasks and then take each step as part of challenge to train children how not to get perplexed or have fear of any task. Once the tasks are broken down,it is far easier to achieve goals. This lesson will become part of life and confidence of achieving in the face of failure too will never be a daunting task. Never train children to look for shortcuts or exceptions for then the purpose, goal and task all lose the relevance and speciality of boosting confidence.
7. Another Time, Another way:
It is not possible that whatever one dreams of attaining should happen the way it should have happened. Sometimes you lose out, your efforts did not work out properly. This is traumatic for a Child, it breaks them from within. It is beginning for them to face reality which doesn’t favour them. But they are not nature, even many mature people are not ready for such things. As parents yes a failure does pain you, but your criticism will break the child from putting any effort next time. So as parents, keep your ego one side and give useful feedback and making suggestions, but before that make the child realise as parent you are there.
Once that faith rebuilds then show the errors and ways of getting over them. Each error can be a good learning opportunity to learn and grow.
If the child has a plan or thought of his ever changing life goals and aspirations,listen to it, if the plan is good tell all the pro’s and con’s of the goals and aspiration. It allows the child to truly relate to the concepts well. When the time comes the child would be truly ready to take on a right decision.
8. Experience the Experiment
This is a powerful way of learning for a child. Unless hazardous the child can do experiments of playing in mud, rain, climbing trees, racing, trekking etc can be done by child on his own with slightest of support and very basic guidance. Being with nature allows immunity to develop, freshers the mind and allows one to remain fit and active.
9. New Avenues New thoughts
The world is changing and truly changing quite fast. Today children are exposed to electronic gadgets,opened gates of information etc have made children grow up faster and also hollow from within. Bullying, sexual harassment, relationship, infatuation, love issues, onlbe and offline issues. Too many words which never existed in children dictionary 15-20 years back are now part of them. Children now are more aware of physical nature at very young age.
Parents have to be ready to discuss matters openly on such things slowly as the child reaches age 7 in cities and by around 12-13 in smaller towns. This exposure of life allows the child develop confidence in coping with a larger world, in a better manner. This relationship openness between parent and child allows a greater bonding of confidence as well trust of confiding deepens. Lack of this bond creates a turmoil in the mind of child, which results in taking advice from friends or from books or unknown people which mostly leads them to a wrong path.
When parents use their knowledge be it self acquired or learned to teach children what they know, think, act, and speak accordingly. The children too start realising the benefits of following the path shown.
10. Don’t Lose Hope
Don’t worry and never lose hope for the child if you as parent have taken the right path and right initiative to share your world of knowledge and experience with the child.
Even faced in adverse scenario the child will come out with more will power, resilience and confidence. This is a beginning for the child to think out of comfort zone, allowing one to dare the new and different.
Every attainment becomes a cherished moment when parents are able to celebrate and encourage him. Every moment of failure becomes a step of knowing, learning and rising up to a newer opportunity when parents are there to encourage and support the child.
11. Be authoritative, Be Guiding
Parents have to be clear and open with the way but surely hold back when errors commuted by child are big and can lead to a negative mindset later on. Keep guiding them till they see the logical, rational path that they have missed.
-Maitreya Rudrabhayananda
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